Tirza ~ May 28

 

You’re biggening.

Excuse me? Beginning…what?

You’re biggening, she repeated more slowly.

Is that even a word?  

Wow, I said, amazing that the word biggen is so close to the word begin.  Beginning biggening.  Biggening beginning. I repeated the words, tripping a few times.

We laughed. 

You may be biggening the ending, she suggested. Entering a biggened life.

Later, I noticed how it almost sounds like “big on”, as in “I’m big on words.”

I pondered why she chose the simple and seldom used biggen and not another more worn word, like increase, expand, grow.   

I liked its clarity, like those old glass bottles in antique stores, plain in shape, and without the echoes, the shadows, the baggage other words carry with them.  

“Increase” would denote a change in an amount that can be numerically measured, a statistic, like sugar in our diets.  “Expand” takes up more room like a waist, or the ripples on a lake. “Grow” would have carried the idea of a progression, an organic process, a betterment or boost to an anticipated culmination. 

Now I’m looking up its etymology.  Biggen used to mean to dwell, inhabit or build (old Norse) or to be pregnant (Scots). 

This I like. I like the idea of biggening my life, not by having more, taking up more space or improving.  Just by being and allowing more of me. To inhabit and build my me-home, and yes, become pregnant with beginnings and endings.