Gary ~ May 30

 

Summertime, And The Livin' Is Easy

 

Fish are jumpin', and the cotton is high.

 

I'm high as a kite too, and really beginning to rock and roll and settle into my new place

and I am eagerly looking forward to all the new adventures that I instinctively know await me.

 

And I am going to be in very good shape to take them all on, I can tell you that much, since I am about to start my personal training sessions with Jessica at her Upstate Workout Studio which is right next to the Fierce Grizzly bistro, just as soon as she comes back from her honeymoon trip to the Bahamas in just about a week's time.

 

I think Jessica is gay, she certainly has a very butch vibe to her, which I like, because she comes off as being very hardcore, no nonsense, and so I think she's going to be very instrumental in my finally, finally, finally getting back into at least some semblance of the great shape I was in way back in the old days when I was working out, lifting weights, and running marathons in the Tri-State area.

 

I've grown old and lazy and not only do I have lovely dark aging spots on my hands--well Elizabeth thought they were pretty hot anyway, at least until she found out that I was married-- but I notice that my skin is starting to look wrinkled, especially where my firm and bulging biceps used to be.

 

I'm looking to Jessica to be my physical fitness savior and when she comes back from her gay honeymoon in Bermuda I am signing up for 8 30-minute session for $360 and see. how it goes from there.

 

"What are you looking for?" said Jessica, giving me a good looking over, up and down, perhaps with a bit of skepticism, it was hard to tell.

 

"I want to get in good shape for the pool," I told her.  We have a great big gigantic pool here at Roxbury Village Run with a big wooden deck with lots of lounge chairs and umbrellas and I've been told that that is where all the action is in the summertime, with the tennis courts next door coming in a very distant second place when it comes to hanging out, meeting people and simply having fun.

 

I didn't tell Jessica, because I didn't think she'd give a shit,  that I just bought a really sexy bathing suit at the gay men's clothing store in Woodstock this past Tuesday when I was down there to do a two hour session with Dencarlo, my acting coach. At least I think it's sexy, and so does Anne, who marveled at it when I modeled it for her when I came home.

 

I love the gay men's clothing store in Woodstock because they charge so much money for everything.  The bathing suit was $79 and the reading glasses I bought there were also $79, which is a real hoot because just a few days earlier I bought a pair of reading glasses at the Dollar General in Margaretville for $6 and I noticed that the very same  reading glasses that they sell in Barnes & Noble for $20 go for a whopping $50 at Changes, which is the name of the gay men's clothing store in Woodstock, which is hands down, my favorite place to shop.  I bought a thin cotton jacked for $299 there before my trip to Boulder CO because they told me it might be chilly out there, but it never was, and so I never had the chance to put on my new jacket and have no idea if I or when I will ever put it on.  Maybe next Spring, who knows?

 

"OK," Jessica said in a very no-nonsense fashion, "I'm pretty sure I can help you with that.  Let me show you what we have.  She showed me her big treadmill.  I hate fucking treadmills. "No," I told her.

She showed me her rowing machine.  "I can't stand rowing machines, " I told her.  "Look," I said, "getting right to the point. I don't care about the cardio.  All I want is muscles.  I want to tighten my glutes and have a real nice ass, and I want to lose some of this belly fat, although I know 6-pack abs are out of the question, and I want lift weights and do bench presses and really develop my pecs, and get back that old vee shape I used to have."

 

"Good, goood," she said, starting to perk up a little. "I like your attitude."

 

"Yeah, I'm gonna really go for it.  I can't hang out at the pool with a big belly and wrinkly skin.  Even my sexy new bathing suit will be of no avail unless I can get back to where I once belonged. Physically that is.

 

"OK," Jessica said, "We'll get right to it as soon as I come back from my honeymoon."

 

Jessica is so butch.  I know I'm going to love her.  In fact I do already.