So disciplined.
I thought it was a good thing
Have tried
setting goals
sitting down
getting it done
Don't want to
Too gorgeous a morning
though I felt this way yesterday
too
I want to write a poem
the title of a wonderful slim paperback
that came yesterday
about William Carlos Williams
Discipline always discussed
as a good thing
maybe not always
or maybe there is a meaning
to discipline that I don't know yet
How about living as I write
without plan
Last night i was crying
unexpectedly
it's been happening lately
the last few weeks
new for me
so sad
feeling abandoned by the man
I was so excited by
25 years ago
This morning it is okay
I do the next thing
and there is no tragedy or comedy.
I threw out
no, it wasn't "threw out"
I put away the "gift" you sent.
So ugly.
You meant well
but your well meaning
never makes it for me.
It felt good to get it out of sight.
One day, I may use it.
Inside the poet's mind, wistful, gorgeous morning to crying and sad, discipline to do the next thing, lost relationship, putting aside the gift. Encompassing it ALL. The human condition expressed so beautifully.
ReplyDeleteDisciple vs. writing without plan. Does William Carlos Williams shed any light on the matter? I can't tell. I love the ambiguity and the ambivalence that permeates this piece.
ReplyDeletethere are moments when discipline feels like a betrayal to living and our feelings...I like the gift being put away as a parallel though mysterious
ReplyDeleteThe strength it takes just to do the next thing... without tragedy or comedy. The decision to live without planning or discipline....trusting that works best for the writers soul. The unseen gift put away but not abandoned. The humaness of the piece so very touching and moving.
ReplyDelete