I sat in the College and Career group on Friday night at Calvary Chapel. It was held every Friday night in the fellowship hall at the end of the building. We'd make a circle of chairs and some people would sit on blankets in the middle. Either choice was uncomfortable, but the fellowship was worth it.
One night Pastor Paul gave a study on the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant. A man had been forgiven a debt of 10,000 talents. That's equal to about a million dollars in today's world. He was unable to pay the debt and would otherwise be thrown in prison. So the master forgave him the debt, and sent him home to his family.
But then, that same servant went out and demanded his neighbor pay him a debt of a few denarii, like twenty bucks in today's world. "Pay me what you owe!" he demanded. When his neighbor did not pay up, he threw his neighbor in jail. When the master heard about the behaviors of the servant, he was appalled, so he threw the servant in jail.
The moral of this story? We all stand before God as terrible sinners, owing a debt we cannot pay. So who are we to hold unforgiveness against someone else? We can't even forgive the small debts that others owe us?
The moral of the story? Forgive those who have hurt us.
Anger welled up within me as I listened to Pastor Paul teach. Even at age 23, I still remembered the way my peers in the 5th grade treated me, snubbed me, rejected me, kicked me off the playground. I still remembered the nasty comments that the boys used to make about my face, and the way that no one ever apologized.
These things still haunted me. I did not want to forgive.
I was very moved by the image of a young woman, brimming with enthusiasm for these teachings, but not being able to swallow this one ~ her own life more real to her than any scriptural admonition.
ReplyDeleteThese pieces bring me into a world so unfamiliar to me. I am impressed with the writer's engagement with what has been taught to her. And the honesty, "I did not want to forgive." Very powerful.
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