Just Looking Around
As I look out the bathroom window I notice all the trees that were completely bare only a few weeks earlier, have become lush with large green leaves. The hostas that line the fence have miraculously bloomed into giant green vegetative hair-dos that sway in the balmy breeze that has swarmed it’s way into our neighborhood. Across the rickety old wooden fence our neighbors long discarded rose bushes are showing their first blooms. They have been left by tenant after tenant to look after themselves and never fail to produce their beautiful buds on the limbs that have extended through the bushes and trees and dangle in the clear sunlight of our backyard. I welcome them with wonderment and awe, A lovely spring gift. I am not a gardener by any means. I do just enough to keep the lawn and shrubbery neat and respectful looking. As I sit here writing, I am feeling the heat that the house has soaked up and I am still reluctant to turn on an air conditioner. It will happen soon enough…probably tonight….to sleep more comfortably.
I will paint again tonight. I am more encouraged about my plan and how I will methodically wrangle all the marks together to form a consolidated piece of art that I will be pleased with. That small bit of euphoria that comes when you realize that it is finished and you can move on to the next project is soon followed by a self critique about what you could or should of done. But, enough is enough. Just climbing this metaphorical mountain I will encounter much delight, frustration and erudition which will help me draft this piece and let me experience the happy accidents that turn up like small colored eggs at an Easter egg hunt. As that pithy saying goes…”there are those who eat the corn and there are those who shuck the corn”. I’ve got a lot of shucking to do before I can sit back and enjoy the meal.
I may be fooling myself. I am actually feeling a bit happy in my current state of mind. Like the trees and birds and plants that are putting on a marvelous spring showing, I am budding in so many directions. I’m not as fearful as I have been in the past and have gained a certain amount of confidence in my post retirement years. I credit much of the progress made to therapy, meditation, prayer and a willingness to treat myself with love and cherish as much as I am able, all the aspects of this finite life.
And the bees are back!!!…I’ve missed them over the last few revolutions.
I love the image of that rose bush, neglected, but never failing to keep reaching for the sun, through all obstacles, always managing to bloom. And later the narrator says that he too is feeling the same way. Things are bearing fruit.
ReplyDeleteFunny, I was going to make the point that Marta makes! the rosebush that grows despite the tenants comings and goings and blooms ... just like narrator acknowledging his own blooming
ReplyDeleteThose roses remind me of a small plot I had in our community garden - I saw something growing I had not planted...was told it was a "volunteer" tomato plant growing there because I had used the recycled soil. Your lovely roses are such volunteers...welcome guests.
ReplyDeleteI found this piece inspirational at a time when it was very much needed... "That small bit of euphoria that comes when you realize that it is finished and you can move on to the next project is soon followed by a self critique about what you could or should of done. " So very true ...and "a willingness to treat myself with love and cherish as much as I am able, all the aspects of this finite life." Thank you for all of this. will go back and read it again when needed!