Joe ~ May 31

 

May 31st

 

This month has passed by so fast. I am so grateful to fulfill the thirty one days of writing. Of the 31 days,  I wanted to stop on 15 of them. I’ve written a good deal on personal change going happening in my life. It is a noble effort. I’ve probably should of thought twice about doing it during the month I turn 70 years old. Change is difficult to face. In my case, loneliness, low self-esteem and a boost to my usual levels of depression. I bring up the depression subject because I take my medication and I am very conscious of my feelings, but, still. It can make a tough situation that much tougher. I must tell you that the anchor to my shaky emotional state has been this writing group. When faced with letting it go because I was down in the dumps it was the one point in my day where I could rally and detach myself from the negativity that rears it’s ugly head at the most inconvenient times. I rarely made comments on your writings….at least on the blog….but, plenty of gratitude and amazement was being experienced when reading your insights and experiences. So well done and I could not have continued on without them. I have attended many recovery meetings in my life and most of the time I would sit on the periphery and just listen and take it all in and do my best to relate on what others were going through. As you can see, I tend to hide in this same fashion. Especially now that I’m opening myself up to what’s inside  making me tick. Allowing me to explore and get beyond the characteristics that I’ve maintained for a lifetime. I know that the baby can’t be thrown out with the bath water. So, I’m filtering the real me from the crusty exoskeleton that has served me well but has become heavy and cumbersome and constantly has me playing catch-up….along with the other 56 varieties of dysfunction….ba..dump…bump…..So please know that your wonderful expressions have made a profound mark on my soul…I hope we can do this again….very soon…and Thanks for keeping me in the ballgame.