Heidi ~ May 24

 

I got nothing. Tapped out. Not upset about anything that would make a good moving story.

 

I decide to file my nails, very important for a massage therapist. I don’t want to be scratching a snoozing blissful person causing them to come alert thinking they were being attacked by a sharp-nailed gofer.  

 

I wiggle around on my high-counter chair, one leg up on the other chair, a nice sense of stretch.  The outstretch leg rotates back and forth, feeling the chair seat massaging my calf. Restless energy pushing out my ever-moving toes. 

 

I think of children in those stiff desks with chairs attached to them.  I doubt if they still use them.  But in my grade school we had to stuff our growing, little bodies into the space between the chair and the desk no matter how big or small our frame. There is no tipping your chair, moving it around.  Everything including me is stuck together.  Once size fits all, just like the education at the time.  I was a dreamer, had a rich inner life, would have thrived in a more open classroom where individual learning styles were encouraged.  Yes, one size fits all and the system spits you out if you don’t comply.  I tried to comply.  Looked like I was complying with my cute swirly pony tail, felt poodle skirt, Mary Janes and sweet smile.  

 

“Just be yourself,” my mother would say.  If only I knew what that was.  

 

All the while, cravings buried deep.  Energy looking for somewhere to go. A spirit waiting to burst forth and to get out of that damn straight jacket of a chair.