Gloria ~ May 29

 

The Gift of...Memory

 

Inspired by Christina’s piece this morning…thinking of Rita…my friend for over forty years and perhaps a bit more.

 

A while ago I began to notice a short term memory issue.  I would get annoyed thinking oh she’s just not listening and…to my regret…I would get impatient. But it has progressed to the point where  listening is definitely not the problem. 

 

Told her about my trip to Ohio and she asked when I was  leaving and I answered…and five minutes later she asked again when am I leaving…and I answered …and it happened at least twice more…and she does not add Oh I know you told me but I forgot…it’s as if it’s a brand new question. Once in a while she will catch herself and realise what is happening and tell me not to worry she just has a short term memory problem.  And then  later ask the question again. 

 

She is 82,

 

She was a dancer and has never ceased to work out. She went to Machu Picchu and climbed the mountain in her 70’s leaving other tourists in the dust. She can sit on the sofa and  pull  her leg over her head. I’m happy if I can still walk on my damn leg. So physically she is fine…mentally…I’m concerned.

 

And just as Christine tells us of gifts given and preserved, I was thinking of what Rita and I have exchanged over the years.  

 

But the most important was not a physical gift…but a memory.

 

I met Rita when I moved into a six floor walk up in a NYC brownstone. Our apartments were so close we shared a wall that was so thin I could hear her sneeze and she could hear me when I first started singing lessons and told me much later she thought: That woman will never be a singer. We were practically roommates, my cat liked to visit her.

 

One afternoon my parents came to visit, upset because I had stopped telling them anything I was doing but did tell them I was going on a vacation to Bermuda and no I did not need them to take me to the airport. 

 

My mother wanted to know what was going on and why I didn’t tell them anything and why don't I need a ride to the airport.  

 

I said I didn’t need a ride because I was going to Bermuda with my boyfriend.  

I was in my twenties.

 

That is all I actually remember except that they were there all afternoon and my mother said my father was going to give me a check for vacation but now he wasn’t and every hour or so he would go feed the parking meter.

 

Many years later when I started writing my show I wanted to  include this incident but again…had no real memory of the rest of that day.

 

But Rita remembered! 

 

To this day she still remembers! 

 

She told me she thought my mother was totally insane  because she was yelling and screaming at me for all the rest of that day.

 

I have absolutely no memory of that. Nothing,  Rita heard all of it…all afternoon without stopping.

 

What I do remember is the phone call that evening after they left when my mother told me;

We couldn’t have felt worse if you had died.

 

That same night my boyfriend came over knowing what had just gone on and over the intercom Rita heard him say:

 

That horrible man is here that ruined your life.

 

I have no memory of that either, but I’m glad she heard it and told me. Because after all the crap that day…it still makes me laugh!