Christina ~ May 24

 

So afraid of offending, so cautious, so uncomfortable pushing myself into a group of people, qualities that seem antithetical to anthropological fieldwork, which, by definition, requires that you force yourself on to people who have no reason to accept you. It was only much later in life, maybe in my 70s, that I realized that I’d spent my entire life currying favor in difficult groups, starting of course with my family, where the goal was to avoid being the kid sent away from our mother, then in the competitive, designed so that most of us would fail graduate program in anthropology at NYU, then of course in Ghana, then at Goldman Sachs, and finally in a New York City public school. All these groups were highly competitive, or, if like the public school, not so much competitive but set up to make it hard to succeed. But I cautiously, carefully, and always in the end effectively got what I wanted: a PhD from NYU, VP and that beautiful private office with the magical view at Goldman, the most delightful kids, the best paraprofessional, and the ultimate goal of a public school teacher, being left alone by the administration to teach the way you want to. My only failure was with the first project, keeping my mother in my life. But after that, I made sure I never failed again.